I just woke up one morning and I realized something missing. I slowly sip on my coffee but it seems like my taste-buds cease to work. There’s this feeling I’m trying to coin, I never felt it before. I kept wondering and working my way to learn and grasp this feeling until I finally noticed that its not of the norms and is beyond my understanding. Just lately I have been engaged in multiple activities and have been enjoying them but little did I know that a sudden stop or break from those will give off an uneasy yet strange feeling. The feeling of intangibility and that entity slips out of your grasp let alone being able to reach it; it feels very uncomfortable, and slowly inches its way toward my insides.
I feel so distressed, why can’t I see it?
I feel so alone, I’ve been a loner but this time its heavier than you could ever imagine.
I can feel it ache deep inside, I can’t understand it why does it hurt like this?
I can’t reach it, I thought it was within my grasp? I wish I was not wrong.
Time and time again I’ve learned to stand on my own two feet but right now, why do I feel so crippled? Its like there’s something holding me back from recovering.
Recovering huh? Yeah right!
Since when did I fall down anyway? Thing is, there are issues in answering this question in my case. How did I fall? When did I fall? Why did I fall? I don’t understand!
Right now I am so lost, I’ve lost vision of what I seek, what keeps me going and where I am headed. My mind right now is so blank yet I feel a pain writhing. I can’t possibly concentrate on anything in this situation.
My hands are so cold, my vision is clouded, my thoughts are barred, my movements are hindered. I hope I can recover, I hope I can… that is, whatever I’m recovering from.
I’m sorry I just had to write this, just so I won’t drown in despair of not writing it. Please bear with me.
As I sip another, I still can’t get the real taste of coffee I yearn for in the cold morning. What a cold morning indeed.